The WOW (Women of Wisdom) members of Saint Paul Baptist Church, Oxnard, are seasoned women committed to being examples of compassion and teachers of “good things” to young women and their children. WOW members show motherly love, participate in the fellowship and worship, and tell others about God’s goodness.
The following Etiquette Moments are an initiative of the WOW Ministry, presented monthly during the 10:00 a.m. morning service—not as rules, but as “do’s and don’ts” guides for church and social graces in modern times.
CHURCH ETIQUETTE
Do attempt to stay in church until after the benediction, which is the final blessing and dismissal of the church. We don’t leave work before quitting time, or school before the final bell. So, exiting before the benediction or dismissal is disrespectful to the worship leader.
During baptism. Position yourself. Avoid walking around during the baptism itself.
Do attend fellowship events, not just Sunday service. Do your best to support them, especially when our members organize them or are featured.
Respect and acknowledge those who serve. Our ushers, musicians, greeters, tech team. Thank them often, encourage them, and respect their roles and service.
Do inform the appropriate people (your deacon, and always your pastor) if you’re going through a crisis, or loss, and need support.
EVERYDAY SOCIAL GRACES
Mute yourself on group calls when you’re not speaking, especially if you’re in a noisy environment or eating.
When you make a mistake, offer a sincere apology without over-explaining. And remember, tone is everything whether in person or a text.
Avoid the email “reply all” trap. Hitting reply all to thank someone creates inbox clutter for everyone. In those instances, and whenever else it makes sense, reply to the sender directly.
If you witness someone being treated rudely (a server, cashier, customer service rep), briefly acknowledge it to them after with empathy: “I’m sorry they spoke to you that way.” That goes a long way to help them feel better. And it’s all part
of being a good Christian!
December
CHURCH ETIQUETTE
When to stand in church
- During the Benediction.
- During Responsive readings, like reading the church covenant.
- When scriptures are read at the start of a sermon or presentation.
- During devotion scripture readings.
- During communion.
- When asked by the Pastor or event leader.
EXCEPTIONS: Funerals (especially the family), weddings, social gatherings, and when you are unable because of mobility or other issues.
***When in doubt, follow the congregation.
EVERYDAY SOCIAL GRACES
With the holidays approaching there will be invites to dinners and events where dinner will be served. Here are a few do’s and don’ts for the occasion:
- Wait for others at your table to be seated or served before you start eating or ask if you may start.
- Don’t season your food before tasting.
- Avoid reaching. If what you want is not in front of you or within arm’s length, ask for things to be passed.
- Pass counterclockwise (to your right)
- Use serving utensils rather than your own fork or spoon for shared dishes.
- Don’t leave the table without excusing yourself. “Please excuse me.” No need to say for what reason. If you can’t speak, raise your finger in a “wait just a moment” gesture, then leave. When you return, say “Sorry about that, I had a dry spot in my throat and had to cough.”
- Don’t take the last serving of something without asking if anyone else would like it
- Engage quieter guests in conversation so everyone feels included.
- Compliment the host, and offer to help with cleanup.
Today, over 63 million Americans—about one in four adults—are caregivers. Here are do's, don’ts, and advice for caregivers and those receiving care.
If you are a Caregiver…
- Don’t have the attitude, “I gotta do this.” Think, “I get to do this.” God is careful who he gives the task and caregiver gifts to. Accept that God is blessing you to be a caregiver.
- Don’t compare yourself to other caregivers. Every situation is unique, and what works for someone else may not work for you.
- Don’t feel guilty about needing breaks or having difficult emotions. Caregiving is challenging, and it’s normal to feel frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed at times.
- Do accept help from others when it’s offered. Many caregivers try to do everything themselves, but accepting assistance from family, friends, or community members helps prevent burnout and sustain your caregiving over the long term.
- Do take care of your own physical and emotional health. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for rest, exercise, proper nutrition, PRAYER, and activities that renew you spiritually and emotionally.
- Do keep a routine when possible. Structure helps both you and the person you’re caring for feel more secure and makes daily tasks more manageable.
- If the person you’re caring for is overly incontinent or just having a bad day, DO try to be patient. Pause, and pray for calm. You never want the person you’re caring for to feel that they’re a burden.
If you are receiving care…
- Do remember that accepting help is not a sign of weakness. It takes courage to be vulnerable and allow others to serve you.
- Do communicate your needs and preferences clearly. Your caregiver can’t read your mind, and speaking up helps them serve you better.
- Do express gratitude for the care you receive, even when you’re frustrated about needing help. Your caregiver (especially a family member) needs to know they’re appreciated.
- Don’t take your frustrations out on your caregiver. It’s natural to feel angry or sad about losing independence, but remember your caregiver is doing their best to help you.
- Don’t withdraw emotionally or refuse all social interaction. Staying connected to others protects your mental health and gives your caregiver necessary breaks.
And finally…For both…
Remember that caregiving is a relationship, not just a set of tasks. Maintain humor, share memories, pray together, and look for moments of joy even in difficult circumstances. The spiritual dimension of caring for one another reflects Christ’s love and can bring meaning to both parties, even in the hardest seasons.
It’s all about being considerate and making an effort to be a good guest.
November
CHURCH ETIQUETTE
Church Protocol
In the Baptist tradition, the pulpit represents the authority of Scripture and the central place for the preaching God’s Word. So, treating it with appropriate respect honors that symbolism.
- Don’t cross behind the pulpit during service as a shortcut to the other side. Unnecessary movement behind the pulpit during the sermon can be distracting. Use the aisles.
- Don’t play in or disrespect the pulpit at any time or hour. It is not an area for play, walking or entertainment.
- The pulpit area is reserved for clergy. Others speak from the stand. Guest ministers doing weddings, christenings, eulogies, etc. should speak with Pastor before event.
- Don’t sit on the edge of the pulpit or use it in ways that diminish its symbolic dignity
This is all part of respecting God’s House.
SOCIAL GRACES FOR MODERN EVERYDAY LIVING
With the holidays approaching there will be invites to dinners and events where dinner will be served. Here are a few do’s and don’ts for the occasion:
- Wait for others at your table to be seated or served before you start eating or ask if you may start.
- Don’t season your food before tasting.
- Avoid reaching. If what you want is not in front of you or within arm’s length, ask for things to be passed.
- Pass counterclockwise (to your right)
- Use serving utensils rather than your own fork or spoon for shared dishes.
- Don’t leave the table without excusing yourself. “Please excuse me.” No need to say for what reason. If you can’t speak, raise your finger in a “wait just a moment” gesture, then leave. When you return, say “Sorry about that, I had a dry spot in my throat and had to cough.”
- Don’t take the last serving of something without asking if anyone else would like it
- Engage quieter guests in conversation so everyone feels included.
- Compliment the host, and offer to help with cleanup.
It’s all about being considerate and making an effort to be a good guest.
October
CHURCH ETIQUETTE
Church Protocol
Observe proper Protocol when speaking at the podium. Begin with recognizing God, the Pastor, all other clergy, officers, members, and Christian friends. If this has already been stated, it’s okay to state that “protocol has been established” before continuing your remarks.
Women Clergy
They are to be given the same respect as male clergy when addressing them. Use their preferred titles: Pastor, Rev., Prophetess, Minister, Evangelist.
SOCIAL GRACES FOR MODERN EVERYDAY LIVING
Cell Phone Do’s and Don’t’s
The ones we all know…or should know:
- Avoid using your phone in settings where it can disturb others, like theaters, restaurants, libraries, and especially church services.
- Put phone in silent mode/ Use soft tone if you must use it./Move away to another area.
- Don’t talk on the phone with the phone to your ear when driving.
- Don’t text and drive.
Others equally important and not always practiced:
Always remove your earbuds when interacting with someone in person, even for a brief moment. If a conversation begins unexpectedly, remove them immediately to show respect.
- Never keep earbuds in your ears during events like a funeral, dinner, or date, as it is highly disrespectful.
- Avoid using speaker phone mode in public places.
- Avoid FaceTime in public places. (Exceptions-emergencies, outdoor spaces, secluded areas, brief moments)
- Although it may be tempting, avoid texting during face-to-face conversations
- Try not to look things up (“fact check”) during a conversation, unless you are asked to.
- Avoid accepting calls when you are in the middle of a face-to-face conversation.
- Avoid discussing personal topics in an area where others may hear you.
- Avoid using inappropriate pictures for a person’s contact photo.
- Ask Before Posting: If you take a photo with others, get their permission before posting it to social media.
September
CHURCH ETIQUETTE
When Not to Walk in Church during Service
- During the reading of the scripture.
- During prayers.
- During Baptism or the Lord’s Supper.
- During the message, walking should be kept to a minimum. If there is an emergency and you MUST walk, do not pass in front of the pulpit. Use side aisles.
- During the Invitation to Discipleship.
- During the Benediction.
*Emergencies are always the exception.
Passing the Plate
- Don’t make your own change from the offering plate.
- Don’t wave currency in the air to signify the need for change or assistance. Raise your finger to eye level to get the attention of an usher or officer on duty.
The Communion Table
- Do not place anything on the table.
- Do not lean or sit on the table.
EVERYDAY SOCIAL GRACES
Respecting The Elderly
- Stand (if sitting) when being introduced to elderly people. This also goes for handicapped and pregnant women.
- Offer to pull up a chair or help put on a coat.
- Offer a seat when on public transportation, or in a doctor’s office.
- Offer to serve as an extra pair of arms and legs: “Let me tell you what’s on the buffet table.”
- Set up a system that will allow you to know if the neighbor has not been heard from for more than a day. Don’t assume they’re away visiting or on vacation. Take a moment to call or knock on their door or leave a note to call you. If you don’t hear from them within a reasonable amount of time, notify authorities and ask for a welfare check.
- If they are homebound, offer to run errands, tend to their plants, drop off food or other staples, or GIVE THEM A RIDE TO CHURCH
We invite you to visit this area for updates each month.
